the enchanted 15: the end

Books are never finished only abandoned. -Oscar Wilde

I am thinking this morning that this series has completed itself.  There are 20 posts including this one and though there is always more to write, I am feeling somewhat satisfied with what I've written here. Getting into a regular rhythm of writing, realizing that the time in which you do it is enchanted, and meeting yourself honestly in the time that you spend committing words to the page are the three essentials to accomplishing something worthy.  

You may realize in reading this series, that I look at writing as a spiritual act as much as anything else. It is a commitment to using your time and talent for something bigger than yourself.  And that, my friends, is the biggest struggle of all.  Writing as service as opposed to self-aggrandizement.  I enjoy all of the benefits and blessings technology has given me as a writer.  As I wrote over on my main blog the other day, the opportunity to interact with an audience as you write is a very new thing and something that can feed you as a writer.  But there is always a shadow side to everything, things against which you have to struggle in order to make sure that the negative doesn't overcome the positive.  

The thing that I find to be the biggest pitfall in writing on the internet is that spoiled child that screams: NOTICE ME.  It's the thing I have to struggle against not just daily but hourly, the desire to be read is the desire to be noticed, and this is the thing I believe can kill writing more than any other negative tendency.  Because even if you are on the best seller list and greet millions of readers, still the act of writing is essentially solitary; it is something you do, day in and day out, without being noticed.  Even a best-seller has hours and hours of unnoticed efforts and sacrifices that went into it, and no number of accolades or readers can make up for that sacrifice. 

You have to kill that child that wants to be noticed in order to be able to do something good.  Because the best things in life always arise from the things we do without being noticed.   To work, silently, bravely, and quietly without being noticed will always bear more fruit.  This is the truth that must be believed in order to live.  

If being noticed by other mortals is the ultimate goal, it will not carry you.  You will always allow your time to devolve down to self-pleasing activities. To escapes and to laziness and to hedonistic pleasures.  Because the notice you receive--if you ever receive it at all--is always going to be delayed.  So if what you are looking for in your writing is to be NOTICED, your energy will be less than what it could be.  You will always feel weary, tired, and close to burning out. 

But if you believe, with the passion and conviction of something called FAITH, that offering your time and yourself to something that may in fact escape notice, not just now but forever, will lead to great fruit in your life and the life of others, you will find that your energy, like your time, can stretch much further and much deeper into  the fabric of all that is, was, and will be than you ever imagined possible. 

It seems odd to speak in such grandiose terms, about something so simple and so, ordinary.  But I believe that it is true.  The time we spend in pampering and coddling ourselves, in protecting ourself from pain and hurt, dissipates immediately. 

But the time we give to others, to service, and to sacrifice for it's own sake, stretches into a forever-ness.  Again, it sounds grandiose.  Silly, even.  But it's my experience that silliness often earmarks something authentic, unique, and true.  Think of when a child acts "silly".  They are usually doing something completely creative and original.  

So when you sit down for your 15 minutes, and you are tempted to feel something that can only feel like despair, because what comes out seems less than what you'd like it to be, less than what it could be.  Or because, it's time you feel is lost because it was time spent unnoticed, when you'd rather be emailing, texting, websurfing, eating, smoking, drinking, watching tv...

Remember this and know that it is not true.  In fact, the opposite is true.  The time spent in idleness is lost forever.  But the time spent in service to your time and your talent and, hence, to the world, is the only time that remains meaningful. 

The best of luck to you on building your writing 15 minutes at time or one day at a time or however you choose to think of it.  Every time I sit down to work, I'll think about you.  And I'll notice it. 

In a way.  

Comments

[Rosemary]

"To work, silently, bravely, and quietly without being noticed will always bear more fruit. This is the truth that must be believed in order to live." Yes!!

I do not think for a second what you says sounds silly - it resonates with me deeply as I think of my own hidden, small, creative and momentously important work as a wife and mother. The drama of the ordinary - this is the perfect ending to the series you crafted with such love. Thank you, Jennifer.

Oh, by the way, I notice!

[Maria]

I find myslef often at a loss for words after reading one of your posts. As if I must not be worthy of having read it. Since I am unable to offer anything in return, in thanks for having read something that provoked me into thinking. About something for a few moments and not continuing along in the mundane nonsense of life.

[Rosemary]

also:

what Maria said.

[Kate P]

Thanks for the series, Jen. I have hope that I will get back to writing sometime soon. I do miss it.